I finally get to learn how to make clothes, because my friend Flora from dee cafe is gunna show me! I want to make a long, coarse cotton mastard-y circle skirt with big curved side pockets but had no idea where to start so i asked her, cos she did fashion//tailoring at uni. She was trying to show me but in the end she was just like ‘let me make it with you because this is too hard to explain’. Huzzzaaaa, may not be exciting for you but it totally is for me
feel so cold and shivery and exhausted and my throat hurts why did I do a 6k run yesterday and a 2hr kung fu lesson lololo.
Give me chocolate
Richard Brautigan, “I Was Trying to Describe You to Someone,” 1969
My dad got this for my birthday when I was 13 or something. I remember this story so well.. How weird to discover it on tumblr.
shbaaaaah so worried about work but I have had such a funny two weeks so I’m not really regretting the fact that I haven’t done as much as I should?
I will fail all my exams and then I will regret having gone out when I should stay in doing work, and working at my job instead of my essays.
Oh my gosh it’s impossible to be unhappy when you have just done a 2hr 30 Kung-Fu class and were declared to be ‘really good’ and ‘very fast’ (haha wot) or even more flatteringly ‘a psycho’. The Friday just gone I tried trapeze out which was amazing- I can do the pose (is it called a pose?) mermaid as well as pike and I can also do a weird upside down thing on a rope where my legs are splayed out like a old fashioned teddy. Dunno why I chose to phrase it that way, but I think because it looks like the teddy bear rolls we always did in primary school gym class. But upside down whilst holding onto a rope, obviously. This would probably be really easy to find out if I looked it up but I can’t be bothered, don’t judge me I have just been beating the shit out of people!
Yeah so trapeze was good but I was sweating like a pig, not because it was impossible (although it was v hard) but because I’m really scared of heights. It doesn’t seem to matter how low the height is- If I’m in the air, wee will end up in my pants. But I managed to do it somehow. I like challenging myself, seems to be becoming a bit of a trend although I definitely can’t afford to do all the classes I want to, and I don’t have time either. Kung Fu is definitely a sure thing because I loved it loved it llooooved it, trapeze I loved too but maybe I could do it once every other week. Yoga is l’essential because otherwise my back hates me. Trapeze made me feel incredibly inelegant because I am not elegant or small like a trapeze person should be, so I probably looked like and elephant but who cares. The only bad thing was that I had to trek out all the way to the ‘burbs of Hove which was not fun, partly because of the monotonous and unattractive journey but mostly because the area managed to be scary as well as ugly. Not cool, Hove.
Then typical yoga class on Saturday which was lovely and made me realise how stiff my body was from the loud cracks which my joints kept producing. Jim, my teacher, wan’t there but the lady covering was a cutie pie so I didn’t mind. Plus, where I do it.has the best view over the city which is a wonderful bonus.
So, onto Kung Fu. This is surely not interesting for anyone! If you’re reading this then you’re a loser! I’m even more of a loser for writing about all the classes I attended this week over anything else, but W/E. So, the place is down a little dark alleyway underneath a tiny chinese sign, round the backs of shops. You would never see it unless you were looking, and could easily miss it even if you were. However, luckily I managed to spy it in the dark and ventured into the cold dark hallway through the unlocked door, and up the grotty staircase. Complete silence, and I consider turning around but the sound of laughter draws me in. What a mystery! I am greeted by three men who gaze at me as if I’m an alien, which is perhaps the case. There are knives on the wall so I recede meekly into toilette and change into fighting-appropriate attire. The only reason I went was because Fi, who is my new manager, goes and was talking about it. She took our friend/colleague Flora last time and they were raving about it at work and I was curious.. Anyway neither of them turned up! But the other thing was that the teacher, Sam, works at the cafe on Wednesdays with the guy he cares for called Luke, who is there to get work experience. So I know him sort of, and he’s a sweetheart anyway so despite my general nervousness around people I was fine.
Just going to interject to tell you all how much I smell at the moment. Really need to shower but will finish this first.
Lots of warm ups. Lots and lots and I have no upper body strength, it seems, so push ups were impossible. Running was fine, bla bla. Then weird awkward exercises like piggy backs and wheelbarrows and sitting on each other’s hips whilst doing crunches. This was all a bit karma sutra and I was the only girl so I felt vaguely uncomfortable but got over it quickly. Who doesn’t love introducing oneself by shoving their entire body onto someone else, preferably with legs splayed? Not me! I love it! Then we were doing all this reaction stuff, but then went onto the fighting stuff. Found out that I am actually quite fast and have fairly good reactions, but punching someone is scary! More scary than being punched yourself, in a way. We did a lot of that and it felt gooood to just jump around and go apeshit a little bit. After having, ahem, honed our skills, we got let loose on one of the instructors for five minutes to just attack. It was so tiring, but I went at it like a banshee and then looked and saw everyone crowded around laughing, jolly good! Apparently this was a good thing! This was when the psycho comment arose. Then knife skills and warm down and a little lecture from the crazy instructor called Chance who called me darling, so I kindly pretended to stab him. He took it pretty well. He told us some stories about getting stabbed which were terribly enjoyable.. Ah so much else, all of the people there were so funny but i’m too tired to continue.. So you will have to wait amigos.
You aren’t here
To plump my pillows
To cook me dinner
We used to skip down that yellow brick road
Sandals transformed into ruby slippers
This that we found in the kingdom of Oz
Through the shimmering, glittering green
A surprise for us both, it seems
That grainy film loop seems so real
Just like your letters
Both came from you
A little television set in a smoky room
The smell of tobacco and old coats
Tap your heels, Dorothy
Could we go back if we tried?
A little television set
Buzzing in the dark
Snap. Turn it off
Static fuzz in a warm little room
Down the whitewashed road
Glistening in its salt crust
Just now filled with gold, red and green
And munchkins in a technicolor dream
Could we go back to that corduroy couch?
And a blonde bob
And a skinny man with a brown tooth
Smelling of cigarettes, wearing an old coat
Skipping down a yellow brick road
Ok, so i’m going to Prague! Exciting exciting..
Actually I am only just beginning to be excited about it because this evening has been so stressful, we were booking the other half of our inter-railing flights and fucking hell it’s difficult to organise eight people to all get the same flight, especially when you are half way through booking and people come in saying ‘wait’ or ‘stop’ and it causes so much confusion and nobody knows what is going on. I was booking for my friend and myself and SO stupidly wrote her first name twice not her first name and surname which was pretty ridiculous, but it really annoyed me because everyone was asking me questions and not reading what I had already written- therefore I was very stressed. I was just sitting there at my kitchen table writing out all my card details with the phone wedged between my shoulder and face explaining to people what flight we were supposed to be buying whilst speaking to my friend and getting increasingly annoyed. It’s really weird because when I get stressed I just sit there shaking and get really blunt and sharp which I can be anyway but seriously, all the humour goes out of me ha. So anyway, the upshot of this was that Easy Jet charged me 35 fecking quid to change her surname to her surname which is really funny but so annoying and would not have happened had the situation not been so stressful. I am so stressed in general anyway because of Ash who I haven’t spoken about on here for ages b/c I don’t know how to really. We weren’t speaking, then we were, then things happened between us but it was on a ‘casual’ basis and now he is ignoring me due to his self proclaimed ‘uselessness’. I so should not have let myself get involved with something careless and throwaway when I was so emotionally invested in it because now I feel permanently sick and unresponsive. It feels like i’m going constantly against the wind, nothing is light or easy any more. I’m so ashamed that a man could have that effect on me- it makes me feel so weak. Plus the fact that I clearly meant very little to him when he meant rather a lot to me.
Good that all made sense haa
Wah so odd, just sitting here stressing out about life and the only thing that calms me down is playing guitar even though I am so bad it gives me this infinite satisfaction to be actively doing something whilst not having to properly engage on an emotional level. It’s the perfect balance because you can be doing something difficult with your mind but not actually having to connect to any thoughts which means that bad thoughts are pushed aside for a bit. Any thoughts are pushed aside for a bit. And then you get a sense of acheivement too. I need to brreeeaaathe haha. Oh life.
Ah YES we have booked out tickets back from Europe to home- i.e.. the second half of our inter-railing flights as we found them first and they were so cheap we had to get em! We are flying back from ROME which is so great because obviously we then get to go to Rome. So glad it’s actually happening now because then we have to book the rest. Lovely.